As a mother through adoption, I constantly wonder if Max would ever want to meet his birth parents. Of course, every child is different, but this post from Amy Eisinger brings some insight to what it might be like for an adult to meet their birth parents 20+ years later.
"Yet, out of sheer curiosity, I listened to Monda. My biological parents, who conceived me as teenagers, had stayed together. They had married. They had two more children. A boy and a girl. I had a brother and a sister. They did not wish to replace my family. But they were hoping, that in time, perhaps we could develop a friendship.
I declined. I didn't speak to them.
And that silence ensued for about two years. I can't exactly pinpoint why I reached out to them. Maybe it was the recent Thanksgiving I'd spent with my family in Jersey that had me thinking about family. Maybe it was because my then-relationship had started to sour and I wanted some good interactions. Maybe it was just a gut feeling, one that can't be explained. At any rate, I emailed my bio family on December 1, 2010. And graciously, miraculously, they still wanted to get to know me."
Read more at Huffington Post Parents.
I love reading stories like these!
ReplyDeleteWhat I think I find most interesting being married to someone who was adopted as a baby is that he doesn't feel like he HAS to meet his birth parents. He's curious, of course - but he's in no hurry to track them down. He says, "my parents are my parents" and they really are! He is so close with them and he acts just like his dad - you wouldn't know they were adopted if you saw them together. The whole nature vs nurture thing is fascinating, and after knowing Tim, I really believe nurture has more to do with who we become than we thought!
I think it's good to have a curiousity, even if adoptees don't necessarily want to meet their birth parents. Birth parents are part of the makeup, of course, but I agree that nurture plays a huge role. I will be interested to see as Max grows how much of his personality is like mine or Dan's and how much is inherent.
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