What a difference a year makes

Last Easter Dan and I spent about a week visiting family in Japan. Two days before our trip we met with a birthmother to pitch ourselves as the adoptive family for her son.

We drove about 10 hours roundtrip in one day to spend about an hour with the mother, her own mother, and her daughter. We thought the meeting went great, but the next morning our social worker called and told us that she had decided on another family. The news devastated us.

My heart ached as we left for Japan. We would be spending time with our 10-month-old nephew, and I was acutely aware that we had just lost another chance to have our own baby. I struggled to enjoy his giggles and cuteness while knowing we had no idea when our own son (or daughter) would come into our lives. It was an incredibly dark time for me and my emotions were raw.

By the grace of God, I made it through the week without any enormous meltdowns. At times I had to just be alone to grieve and cry, but being with our nephew actually soothed my ache, and he and I became fast friends.

Yesterday, as I got ready for our Easter service, I put on the same dress, the same sweater and the same shoes as I had a year ago. And as I got dressed, I realized the amazing difference a year can make. My own son is now almost the age our nephew was when I held him last Easter in Japan. 

As I posed yesterday for new Easter photos, this time holding my own precious son, I began thinking about Ephesians 1-

"God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.  So we praise God for the glorious grace he has poured out on us who belong to his dear Son. He is so rich in kindness and grace that he purchased our freedom with the blood of his Son and forgave our sins."

Ephesians 1:5-8
 

A year ago we were still waiting for Max. We didn't know him yet, but we had already decided to adopt him into our family. What an amazing reflection of what Jesus did for us. Even before we knew God, he had decided we would become his children. A beautiful illustration for Easter, don't you think?