Get Uncomfortable, Day 7 - Reluctant Worship

I'm about to confess one of my biggest secrets: I struggle daily with social anxiety and what I presume is agoraphobia.

No, that doesn't mean I'm a shut in or that I am a recluse who hates people. Many of the people who do know about my struggle were surprised because I am warm and friendly. I love people. It means that crowds or situations where I am not in control or that are unfamiliar can cause me enormous anxiety. So much so that I avoid situations.

I was telling you guys a few days ago about how after three years of living in South Carolina I finally reached my breaking point- I had made a couple of friends, one especially good friend, but my circle was very small and I was incredibly lonely. At that point, Dan and I joined a Bible study at our church.

I'm not a fan of big groups, and by big I mean more than say, three people. We attended that same bible study group for a year before I said a peep to the group. And when I finally did, my heart was going like a freight train and I was so anxious, despite knowing most of the people in the group. 

"I was glad when they said unto me, Let us go into the house of the LORD." — Psalm 122:1

 
Dan, Max, and I went to visit a new church a few weeks ago, the first one since we moved to Nebraska. It took days of talking myself into it before I told Dan that I'd like to go try it out. Even to my own amazement, come Sunday morning I didn't let my anxiety get the best of me and I followed through.

It was awesome.

Still though, it's been three weeks and we haven't been back. Why? Because my anxiety around being out of my comfort zone can be so all-consuming, it can even make me chicken out of things that will edify and improve my life.

I wrote on Day 2 about how getting plugged into my old church was the catalyst for huge life change for me; I have met almost all of my good friends through churches or Bible studies. And when I show up, church is where I find my people.

My baptism, July 2011. Photo by Meggan Goff.

 

We need community- corporate worship, encouragement from those who share our faith, and fellowship with other Christians are major pillars in our faith. Yes, you can be a Christian and not go to church, but it's a lonely path and, in my opinion, not what God designed for us.

Friends, my fellow Christians, I am making the commitment today to allow myself to Get Uncomfortable. I am not going to let my anxiety stand in the way of God's best for me and I know that includes finding a church family.

I ask you, friends, to help hold me accountable; next Sunday I will be back here with an update on how I did.

Who's with me?

What holds you back from finding a church home? Do you struggle with anxiety too? Tell me your story in the comments below!