The realizations of a new stay-at-home mom

I never imagined myself being a stay-at-home mom.

 

I've worked since I was 14, starting in my dad's office just a few hours a week. Since then, I've owned two businesses, gone to school for cosmetology and medical transcription, and worked in several other jobs along the way. I like to work and I love new challenges.

 

A few weeks ago, though, I reached the breaking point with my job and Dan and I decided that it was time for me to quit. We crunched the numbers and decided we'd be fine without my salary. We've already made some big financial changes in the past few months, so we felt pretty well prepared to lose my income.


 

Truthfully, the money isn't what makes me nervous. Like I said, I like to work, which in my mind means bringing home a paycheck and it has been difficult to wrap my mind around not making money, but I've felt more and more recently that God has some big plans for me that may not entail making a regular salary. Scary, right?

Since we adopted Max last June, I have felt increasingly called to adoption and orphan ministry, which is really the driving force behind why I started this blog to begin with, but as you probably know if you're a parent too, finding the time can be extraordinarily difficult, and I have felt a bit discouraged.

A few days ago though I felt God speaking to my heart. I have already been blessed with a huge ministry.

You see, I now have the freedom to minister full-time to one precious little person all day, every day. No, it's not the grand plan I had in mind of reaching hundreds or thousands of adoptive families, but I have my own little boy right here in my own home that God has blessed me with. When else are we given such an incredible opportunity to show God's love to someone so many hours of the day?

I've been given a unique opportunity to minister to an amazing little person, to guide him towards Jesus, to share love with him every day. I have been entrusted with an enormous responsibility. No, it's not what the original vision looked like to me, but motherhood is an amazing ministry in and of itself.

I don't know what the future holds for me and what kind of plans God has in mind for me, but the realization that I am already in training for those plans has been a huge encouragement to me.

For now though, I am content where I am, guiding my son to follow God's heart. And that's really what it's all about, right?

Before the Phone Booth Quick Change

Warning: This post contains shocking images. Proceed only if you're not afraid of messes.
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I have a confession:

I'm not Superwoman.

I work. I have an almost 10 month old baby. I have a home to clean, pets to take care of, a family to make dinner for. I try to semi-regularly write. Needless to say, there are a lot of things to get done in the day.

What I want people to think of my life

 

I was on Pinterest a few weeks ago in one of the rare moments I had some free time (or in one of the not so rare moments that I was not doing something I should be) and I saw a pin that made me laugh out loud.

A more accurate portrayal

 

It was a picture of a gorgeously made up, perfectly dressed, baby-wearing mama out for a walk. Underneath the pinner had captioned "That's going to be me when I'm a mom- stylish!"

I cracked up then went and told the Facebook world about it.

Stacks of fabric that have been on my table for two weeks

A year ago, I probably would have said something like that. In fact, at one point I started a Pinterest board called "Mission Stylish Mom." Let me tell ya, I aborted that mission months ago.

As much as we hate to hear it, we can't do it all. I'm not saying that you shouldn't work, take the time to put together a gorgeous outfit, or spend your kiddo's naptime writing a blog post. What I'm saying is something has to give.

Dishes from last night's dinner

Pinterest especially (and the Internet in general) has fed into this notion that we should be able to do everything. We see all these moms doing fabulous craft projects with their kids or wearing an amazing outfit and we're so hard on ourselves when we don't measure up to the idea we have of what a perfect mom/wife/insert appropriate title should be.

What we don't know is what's going on behind the scenes though - the mom in the cute outfit might have a pile of laundry that needs to be done and the crafty mom may have put off grocery shopping to do that project with her kids.

Loads of laundry - at least it's all clean!

When we're online, we want to present the best, most polished, perfect version of ourselves, but that's usually just a little glimpse of the whole person, and it's easy to get down on yourself when you feel like you're failing to live up.

Sometimes I don't put any makeup on, there are days when I wear my yoga pants from morning to night, and it's not uncommon for there to be loads and loads of laundry in my hamper. But I'm learning to extend myself grace, just like I would a friend who may be struggling to juggle all that motherhood (life, really) brings.

No, I'm not Superwoman. Sometimes I'm just Lois Lane. And I'm fine with that.