Get Uncomfortable, Day 5 - Quality Kid Time

I was at the park yesterday with Max. It was just us and another mom with her two boys. The mom was on the phone and every time one of her sons would come up to her she'd say "Just one more minute!" At one point, one walked away crying "I just want you to play with me!" Mom kept talking away.

The boys, tired of waiting, came up to me and asked if I'd push them on the swings. I hollered at their mom to make sure she was okay with it. She nodded approval, so I pushed them; two precious little guys, four and five years old (They said to me, "Do you even know how old we are? Do you even know our names?" Adorable.), left to play with a strange woman and her baby.

You know, I don't know if this is typical for them and I totally get that mamas need time to space out and do their own thing (can I get an amen?), but this was like a punch in the gut to me because I saw so much of myself in this mom.

I know firsthand that being home with a little one(s) all day long is exhausting and sometimes, well, just boring. I mean, we listen to The Muppets' song "Mahna Mahna" about 20 times a day and Max thinks lifting his leg into the air is worthy of applause every time (which truthfully is pretty adorable and hilarious). So much of being at home with the kiddos is the same every single day and it does get monotonous.

I am the queen of goofing off on Facebook during the day. I mean, were they to crown someone official Facebook time waster, I'd probably win hands down. And I didn't start seeing it as a problem until recently. Max has started coming up to me as I sit at the table or on the couch and grabbing my hand and saying "Go? Go? Go?"

Obviously, he's begun to notice that I'm not paying attention and man, that makes my heart hurt.

Not so long ago Max and I were battling through our afternoons together, struggling just to make it to bedtime. He was having upwards of a dozen throw-myself-down-on-the-floor-and-scream temper tantrums a day. I was exhausted and he, obviously, wasn't happy.

I had this idea, though- what would happen if I gave Max a little more undivided attention? Would that change anything? So I gave it a try.

We began spending an hour a day, just one little hour, at the park together. No cell phone, no iPad, no TV. Just me and Max and whatever he wants to do.

Oh how I wish I could explain how this has changed our lives! Devoting one uninterrupted hour a day to my son has made much of the rest of the day go smoothly. We snuggle more. We laugh and wrestle more. We are having more fun instead of counting down the hours until bedtime.

Please don't get me wrong, mamas. I need breaks, and I know you do too. I don't want anyone to feel guilty about taking time to space out, waste time on Facebook, or do whatever it is that helps you relax!

What I am saying is this- we are a generation of parents with cell phones glued to our hands, computers always on with social media always open, and iPads to carry with us when we go, and it's our kiddos paying the price for us being unengaged.

Someday when Max is grown, I don't want him to look back on his childhood and think "Wow, my mom was always on Facebook wasting time!"

I want him to remember me taking the time to see him and clap again when he raises his leg in the air for the 20th time that day.


Do you have set time that you devote entirely to your kids? What is it that you look forward to doing most with them?

Click here for Day 4, Zzz. The Art of Sleep

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Day 2, Cultivating Friendships